Ed Stetzer Approved Stats Reveal Biting Sarcasm Is Unhealthy

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NASHVILLE, TN – Christian Statistician Watchdog, Ed Stetzer, has publicly endorsed the findings of a recent survey. The goal of the study was to evaluate the influential effects of sarcasm from within church leadership. A second poll, not endorsed by Stetzer, was said to measure the impact from the level of leadership to congregation.

One pastor proclaimed, “This kind of character flaw is what helped me win friends in seminary. I’m not sure what I’m missing!?” Perhaps the most shocking finding is the definitive proof that slow clapping with loudly annunciated congratulatory remarks has NEVER been sincere.

Student Ministries Pastors have been hit the hardest. A well read leader was heard remarking,  “Other researchers have shown us that we need the right kind of clothing but who knew there was a particular kind of wit that should accompany this costume?”

Researchers says that we should “Expect more common sense findings from these surveys and prepare your teams to make adjustments accordingly”.  This was said with no recognizable facial expression. If that’s not a barrel full of convictions, your heart is rock brothers.

3 Comments Add yours

  1. Of course, Jesus is not sarcastic. Jesus did not dress for success. Jesus did not teach us techniques. So many students of ministey are missing the point: it’s intimacy with God, not a religion, not techniques to study and learn from.

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