babybump unforgiveness

My wife, Hanna, is a woman of many talents. She has a blog too. Today, she is sick and so I am dedicating this space to her post. You can also go read and follow her blog.

What if the consequence of your sins resulted in a baby bump? I’m talking about the little sins that we don’t even consider sins. I’m talking about gossip. I’m talking about lying. I’m talking about deep, secret sins that no one knows about. I’m talking about unforgiveness, jealousy, bitterness. What if instead of being able justify these things or keep them private, they were there for all the world to see. What if we carried around a big, ole’ baby bump?
Last year a woman I knew got pregnant and she wasn’t married. She didn’t even end up staying with the father of her child.
I’m not close to this woman at all but we have mutual friends and are Facebook friends. Sometimes you find out more about a person on messy Facebook than you can in person.
This girl was run through mud. I mean, she was supposed to be Christian. She was on the worship team for crying out loud. How could she even show her face in church much less still be in “leadership”? People judged her so very hard. I judged her so very hard. And then I was immediately convicted. Hard core convicted. And then God gave me this series. #babybumpsins
It seemed like every time I turned around, another unmarried woman was getting pregnant. These women WERE Christians and held leadership positions in their churches. And the greater church body gave them crap. Every single time someone else got pregnant, I felt more and more led to start this series. I also think there are appropriate ways to deal with and properly conduct this type of situation and leadership roles within the church. But that’s not what this blog series is about.
By the way, did you know that being pregnant IS NOT A SIN??? It’s premarital sex that is the sin. And in God’s eyes sleeping with your significant other is no different than carrying around bitterness & unforgiveness. Oh wait. He actually does say something about forgiveness. “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” (Matthew 6:14-15)
Please know that I’m not trying to justify premarital sex or having a child out of wed lock. The bible speaks specifically on that too. I’m just trying to point out that we tend to be one sided when it comes to sin. We normalize the “little sins” and make a super big deal about other ones. The Holy Spirit is ever so faithful in convicting us of our OWN sins…if we allow him and listen. He really doesn’t need our help when it comes to other people’s sins.

Ps 103.12
The whole purpose of this series is remind US of the “little sins” and how they are VERY REAL SINS. And hopefully next time you see an unmarried, pregnant woman, you won’t jump to judgment. I want to focus on 4 things that I feel we (as Christians) sometimes forget are sins. The first one is unforgiveness.
God, our loving & gracious Father, sent his perfect & flawless son to this wicked place we call earth. They had a plan. A plan that was so full of forgiveness and grace. I mean really just think about it for a minute. They’re in their perfect place and they see our hot mess of world. God says, “I need you to go”. Jesus says, “Whatever you need, dad”. They knew what was going to take place. They knew the pain & suffering they were about to take on. They knew what they were getting in to. And they knew that THIS would build a bridge for forgiveness & eternal life. And because God loves us so much, he put this plan in to motion and sacrificed his spotless lamb. (John 3:16)
Wow. It literally leaves me speechless. I have another story for you.
I didn’t have the greatest relationship with my dad. Neither of us are affectionate. He’s a little gruff and I am a little (a lot) sensitive. He was also really strict and that didn’t fly so well with me as a teenager. I just didn’t like him. Other things happened between us that caused me to put up walls of unforgiveness, resent and bitterness. There was a while there that we didn’t even speak. I was convinced that he didn’t love me or care about me. So I shut him out of my life. I didn’t like him.
How many people don’t like God & shut him out of their lives? It’s been going on for longer than we can even fathom. Yet He knew this. And He still sent the Perfect One. He still forgives us. Who am I to hold a grudge or decide to not forgive someone??
My dad had an accident and was moments from death. I forgave him. Immediately. No questions. The things that once hurt me were nowhere to be found. Forgiveness hasn’t been easy for me in other areas of my life. I really feel like the only reason I was able to forgive my dad was because he almost died and my eyes were opened. But how do you forgive someone who isn’t on their death bed?
You can’t. Only God can work that out in you. Your forgiveness grows through encountering God and meditating on His word. Draw close to Him and your heart will become more like His. This is how you forgive. Be obedient to the Father today. Decide you want to have a forgiving heart & spirit. Say it out loud, “Father, I forgive them,” and get alone with God and begin to learn who He is. And let the miracle of forgiveness take over your life!!
“God, I repent for the unforgiveness I have been holding against people. I want to know you more. I want my heart to mirror yours. Begin a work in my heart. Give me compassion for those who I hold things against. Let me love as much like you as possible. I know these things only come with getting closer to you. Holy Spirit, please draw me to spend more time in the word, getting to know the Father. In Jesus’ name, Amen”


17 thoughts on “Baby Bump Sins And Unforgiveness

  1. And Father…You know that prayer which ends this page? Well, could You please also make it my prayer, and do that work in me also?

    I’m so encouraged, Father. Thank You. In the Name of Your beloved Son, Amen.

  2. Hey buddy,
    This was a nice post about forgiveness. Our forgiving others is wrapped up in loving others. 😃

    I will add one tidbit here if I may.
    When you referenced the verse in Matthew about God not forgiving us if we don’t forgive others…is an old covenant law reference.
    God in the New Covenant doesn’t mete out forgiveness, based on our behavior or anything else.
    All forgiveness by God is dispensed at a single time upon a person when they believed on Christ. Because only Christ’s shed blood brings forgiveness (Heb. 9.22)
    His forgiveness is never “ongoing” in any sense.

    Praise God it isn’t based on our morality 😀

    All in genuine kindness to you.

  3. Thank you James for your nice article.
    The Matthew reference you cited regarding God not forgiving us if we don’t forgive others, I believe, originates from Leviticus 19.18.
    The main encouragement that I want to bring to you is the fantastic news that in the New Covenant,
    All of God’s forgiveness is issued to a person the instant they believed on Christ.
    “Ongoing” or “conditional” forgiveness was the old covenant model.
    Jesus, (as James later did as well) was burying legalistic Jews in their self righteousness. Demonstrating the impossibility for one to meet the law’s perfect requirements.
    But praise God,
    We are fully forgiven in advance under the New Covenant 😃

  4. I LOVE that you shared your wife’s blog! I also hope she is feeling better soon!

    As for this post…ahhh, my heart resonates with so much of what was written. I have been on both sides of the coin, the one being judged/condemned as well as the one doing the judging.

    At 19, I was unwed and pregnant. I had been raised in a Christian home, even considered myself a Christian. I was pressured into an abortion by my boyfriend. It went against everything I believed. I was scared; scared of my parents, my church family…I went through with it. Walking out of the clinic, Christian protesters lashed venomous remarks and held bloodied signs of gruesome pictures in my face. They had no idea how much I needed God in that moment. Instead, they condemned.

    My story doesn’t end with shame and regret; though Satan would very much like if I lived in this bondage. (However, this is my biggest regret and still, 21 years later, I weep for my child). About a month later, I went to a Post Abortion Counseling class. It was a 12-week Bible study all about God’s Character and my identity in Him. Isaiah 53:5, “…by His wound I am Healed” changed the course of my life. I am not who I once was. I am a new creation. I am forgiven. Since then, it has been my greatest desire to show Christ’s acceptance and forgiveness to others. I am not the one to judge them for their sins. Instead, I get to love them as I wish I had been loved.

    This is long…but like I said, you struck such a chord with me! Thank you for a wonderful post.

  5. What does He desire? Mercy not sacrifice. Shouldn’t we bring our gifts of love to Him in the manner which He desires? Or are we content trying to bring our filthy rags and empty religious practices before Him to be turned away like Cain, while we look at our brother in contempt, expecting Him to receive the hot coals that we ate pouring out on our own heads? Forgive us, Lord.

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